To be young and alive

I am 24.

Young, alive.

Full of spark (which is a world a' hurt difference from sparkles), hopes, dreams, ideas.

As I've graduated college and entered what we call the real world I discovered that strange monsters seek to destroy all that is young and alive within.

Some monsters are of my own creation but many are not. Self-doubt, distractions, the interwebz, the chasm between a real a real job and freedom to do whatever I want, financial goals, creative goals, the desire to eat better food than ramen...these beasts can either propel you to greater heights or crush you into a jaded mess. I'm hoping for the former, very afraid of the latter.

The things is--many an unconquerable soul have come before me, traversed the winter of the soul, and come out stronger.

So there's hope.

I want to be their friend.

I want them to show me how to battle my monsters on fast-forward, kinda like this:

1:47...my fave line in Disney ever, ever, ever. 

But it's not so scary on fast-forward. 

And that's the point, people. Handlin' those monsters like a baller and then dancing the night away. 

Awwww yeah. 

A case of the youngest and expectations

I have a chronic disease. It’s called “I’mTheYoungest.” Unless by some VERY shocking turn of events (Mom?) I will die this way.

And I’m very glad about this.

When you’re the youngest it’s like all the awesome accomplishments your older siblings made are combined into one and expected in you. Then when your parents realize you are the last burst of parenting practice, they want the unmet hopes from children past to be met by you as well.

Imagine all the expectations that come with being the youngest of 6. Magic.

They had such high hopes for me in 1992

Actually… my parents weren’t like that at all. Although there were certain missing math skills absent in my brain that left something to be desired.

But still, I think I am that way to myself.  Being the youngest, I’ve always looked at admirable things in other people – first with my brothers in sisters and then to others.

Now I get to form those observations and admirations in literary form so ya’ll can be part of it! My goal?

And this is now

“In every day, in every way, get a little bit better,” as my dear friend says. Let’s watch the viral process.

People watching

One of my favorite things to do is to people watch. I'm content sitting in a public area and watching teenage girls try to win the hearts of oblivious teen boys or a mom's reaction as her son drops and spills a drink she just bought for him.

People's reactions, stories and motivations fascinate me.

Part of the reason people watching intrigues me so much is because I reflect on myself and if I would react the same way. Would I be as kind as the mom was to her son who lost all the contents to his drink, or would I be showing all forms of disappointment and despair at such a little thing?

I find myself curiously wanting to understand how these people are so different from me and - if I admire those traits - how I can become like them.

Despite the enjoyment of people watching, people's actual stories intrigue me more. Generally because those few minutes of observation doesn't do people justice.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross said, "the most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."

These people are my role models and they inspire me. They are who I hope to become someday - someone that can inspire others.

These people are eclectic peacocks because just watching them from a distance for a few minutes won't show their colorful talented characteristics that we inspire to be.

Amberlee, Jeanette and I have opted to observe - not just watch - the people that we perceive as eclectic peacocks and share their stories of how they came to be.

We hope you enjoy.